Many people have asked how I found out about this. Well, here's the history:
Mid-June or so I had pain on the left side pre-period (sorry if this is TMI for the men reading). However, it disappeared so I thought it was "just a swollen gland". Some friends confirmed that this was possible. The next month it happened again but a little more severe and it didn't go away as fast, plus the "swollen gland" was still there. I was due for a ob/gyn appointment anyway and I knew Dr. Zilberstein (who delivered both Max and Leo but who also is very blunt and has a terrible bed-side manner) would yell at me that I hadn't had a mammogram yet. So I quickly scheduled a mammogram before my appointment with Dr. Z and pointed out that I had felt a lump.
Day after mammogram they call me and tell me I should have an ultrasound. So I schedule it for the following week. I have the ultrasound. They tell me I should have a biopsy ASAP and if the schedulers tell me that the radiologist is fully booked for the week I should tell them to call him. Hm. Sounds serious. So that's what I do and I'm booked for a biopsy THE NEXT DAY.
Have biopsy, still thinking it might be a cyst. The radiologist tells me he thinks its a "tumor". I say, "OK, a tumor. Could it be benign?" He says, yes, but probably not. He's pretty sure it's cancer as he's seen enough of these and he doesn't want to lie to me. He suggests I start looking for a surgeon. WTF??? I leave, stand in the middle of 77th street, start bawling and call David, my mom, my sister, Lilly, etc. The doorman of the building I'm in front of goes in and out, in and out, never says anything. Typical New York.
That was Weds. (8/11), the worst of it. I get used to the idea that I may have cancer and Friday (8/13), on the way to work, the radiologist calls me and tells me that he was right. I have breast cancer. By then I'm calm. I am numb but not surprised. I'm glad he told me on Wednesday. I am prepared for the fight. That was two weeks ago. I can't believe everything that has happened since....
Heidi, thank you for sharing this. I love that your strength and your humor are stll shining through. Please tell me what building you were in front of on 77th street, so I can go over and kick that doorman in the shins next time I'm in New York!
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine at Laura's school recommended a website called whatfriendsdo.com, which has a web tool to help family and friends organize their support efforts (meals, errands, childcare).
Sending warm wishes and prayers,
Suzanne
Heidi Dearest,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing all of this. It's very disturbing of course, but it helps to know a bit of what you're going through. Life is just so unfair sometimes. Your courage will help the rest of us.
Sending you lots of love,
Aunt Judy